Off the record with Joseph O. Patton... Think before you pledge

Volume 7, Issue 3, March 2008

Off the record with Joseph O. Patton...
Think before you pledge

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Editor's note: This article originally appeared in the February 2007 edition of the Capital City Free Press.

Some time just before the year 2000 when I was in the standard cycle of exams, pizza binges and routine sleep deprivation common to college life, a collection of my acquaintances became determined to start up a chapter up what we'll call Fraternity X. They weren't satisfied with the social Greek groups on campus and wanted to charter with some other national organization. I applauded their initiative as it's difficult to launch such a group and nurture it, particularly at a university as small as my alma mater.

I assumed they thought they could cash in on my position as editor of the campus rag, assuring themselves free publicity, or perhaps it was simply their admiration over the fact that I could drink them all under the table. Although flattered, I politely declined after a fraction of a moment's thought. After all, I had friends and therefore did not have to purchase any via monthly exorbitant dues, nor was I enamored of the idea of wearing inexplicable Greek letters on my chest for the next four years. I had never been one of those individuals hard up to impress people with trivial labels on my clothes and I wasn't about to start with European ABCs on my shirt.

But this article isn't about my college years, because if for no other reason, the whiskey-soaked memories are fading.

Last month two men from a Florida A&M fraternity chapter were convicted to two years in the pokey under the state's new felony hazing law, which forbids "serious bodily injury" associated with fraternity “rituals.” The two men with Kappa Alpha Psi fraternity beat a prospective member with a cane so severely that he required surgery afterwards. They even "revived" him with water after he passed out so they could beat him some more. This went on for four nights during an initiation period.

It would be bland and predictable if I launched into a verbose diatribe on the ills of committing violence without provocation, and it wouldn't even be a surprise if I started slinging the stock jokes about frats being plagued by addictions to keggers and juvenile games which include secret handshakes, bottom-patting and other nefarious homoerotic activity. Ultimately, I'm concerned with the trend toward conformity without cause.

To all the incoming college freshman out there: Think before you pledge. It isn't about whether you'll be beaten with a cane or another foreign object in an obscenely foolish attempt to "fit in," it's about making the most of your collegiate experience, academically and socially.

Academically, your time (and intellect) would be better spent involving yourself in an organization which can augment your studies. For example, nearly every academic field has its own honor society and earning a spot will make your resume love you. One I highly recommend is Omicron Delta Kappa (ODK), a leadership honor society. Hey, you'll even get to wear the Greek letters! And when people ask what it stands for, you can offer them a genuine smile and reply, "I don't suck at life!"

Socially speaking, you can drink beer anywhere with anyone at pretty much any time, so why not join a club or organization through which you can truly make a difference in your community? Yes, Greek organizations have their "philanthropies," but between the hazing and cult-like rituals, these account for only a fraction of their activities. For example, by involving yourself with Habitat For Humanity, not only will you be assisting a family in need, but which do you think will impress a potential employer more: Your ability to work in a team and dedication to improving the lives of others, or your proficiency with a beer funnel and improved dexterity from doing keg stands?

Make the most of your college experience, ladies and gentlemen. There is so much you can do to heighten your years in college, but it damn sure shouldn't require paying for your friends or getting beaten.