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| Volume 7, Issue 5, May 2008 |
| The Ghost of Jerry Falwell interviews Jay Love |
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| Staff Falwell: So you’re running for Congress, District Two, right? Love: Yes, I love Jesus. Falwell: Normally, that’s all I would need to hear, but I guess we should make this a bit longer of an interview. I mean, I did send my ghost all up to the surface… I mean, down from heaven, for this interview. Love: Of course, by all means… in the name of Jesus. Falwell: Yes, well….. Your ads speak of change, specifically Christian, conservative change… Love: Yes, praise Jesus. Falwell: Can you give me specifics on how you will bring about this change? Love: Well, sure. Praise Jesus. Once a Bible has been distributed to everyone in District Two with a ‘Jesus Loves Jay Love’ sticker on it, I think people will realize that they should turn from their wicked and sinful ways, elect me and other members of the Party of God… I mean, other Republicans, so that we can turn this country back to the Christian nation it was supposed to be from the start. Praise Jesus. Falwell: Wonderful! Well spoken. Love: Thank you. Praise Jesus. Falwell: How did your days of owning and operating Subway franchises prepare you for the legislative field? Love: Each morning, as I awoke to hear God’s creatures stirring and see God’s abundant sunshine, I prayed over each and every Subway sandwich that would be prepared that day. I asked Jesus to help my customers make wise and healthy choices so that Jesus would stir in them to get a foot-long on wheat, rather than go down the road for Satan’s Big Mac at Hell's golden arches. Falwell: Your ads speak of your state legislative work to cut taxes. Love: Yes, I showed up and voted. It was a wonderful experience to be able to cast a vote in the Alabama Legislature. It was as if Jesus Himself were voting for me. Falwell: Well, I’ve got to say, you have used the words “Christian” and “conservative” more than any other candidate running. It sounds to me like you’re the right man for the job. Love: And I love Jesus. I just want to make that clear. Thank you. |
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