Kenny's Crap Corner: McCain the Macabre

Volume 7, Issue 3, March 2008

Kenny's Crap Corner:
McCain the Macabre

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Kenny Hirschhorn
Staff Writer
Capital City Free Press

Who is John McCain… and why should he be President of the United States?

To neoconservatives he is a liberal. To liberals he is a warmongering Republican waistoid.

To me, he’s the poster child for stereotypical politicians, the very sleaze-balls that America must no longer tolerate; railing against women’s rights, supporting prayer in school, stifling gun control, oozing xenophobia, and suborning senseless, expensive wars against far-flung theocrats with contradictory dogmatic ideologies.

Let’s gaze at a sampling of this senator’s bilious voting record:

-Voted NO on expanding hate crimes to include sexual orientation

-Voted YES on prohibiting same-sex marriage

-Voted YES on banning affirmative action

-Voted NO on repealing tax subsidies for companies that move U.S. jobs offshore

-Voted YES on restricting personal bankruptcy

-Voted YES on limiting death penalty appeals

-Voted YES on limiting product liability damage awards

-Voted NO on $52 million for “21st century community learning centers”

-Voted NO on $5 billion for grants to local educational agencies

-Voted NO on shifting $11 billion from corporate tax loopholes to education

-Voted NO on spending $448 billion of tax cuts on education

-Voted YES on declaring memorial prayers and religious symbols okay at schools

-Voted YES on $75 million for abstinence education

-Voted YES on requiring schools to allow voluntary prayer

-Voted NO on $3.1 billion for emergency oil assistance for hurricane-hit areas

-Voted NO on reducing oil usage by 2025

-Voted YES on de-funding renewable and solar energy

-Voted NO on reducing funds for building roads in national forests

-Voted NO on continuing desert protection in California

-Voted YES on strengthening the trade embargo against Cuba

-Voted NO on granting the District of Columbia a seat in Congress

-Voted YES on allowing lobbyist gifts to Congress

-Voted NO on funding for National Endowment for the Arts

-Voted YES on approving the presidential line-item veto

-Voted YES on prohibiting lawsuits against gun manufacturers

-Voted NO on background checks at gun shows

-Voted YES on maintaining current law: guns sold without trigger locks

-Voted NO on including prescription drugs under Medicare

-Voted YES on limiting self-employment health deduction

-Voted NO on limiting soldiers' deployment to 12 months

-Voted NO on requiring CIA reports on detainees and interrogation methods

-Voted YES on reauthorizing the Patriot Act

-Voted YES on extending wiretap provisions

-Voted NO on the Comprehensive Nuclear Test Ban Treaty

-Voted YES on allowing military base closures

-Voted YES on building a fence along the border with Mexico

-Voted NO on raising the minimum wage to $7.25

-Voted YES on confirming Samuel Alito as Supreme Court Justice

-Voted YES on confirming John Roberts for Chief Justice of the Supreme Court

-Voted YES on raising the estate tax exemption to $5 million

-Voted NO on increasing tax deductions for college tuition

-Voted YES on phasing out the estate tax (what neoconservatives have dubbed the “Death Tax”)

-Voted NO on across-the-board spending cuts

Then there is the war in Iraq. Last April he sauntered through a public market in Baghdad, protected by two attack helicopters, antiterrorist sharpshooters, and encircled by a gaggle of armed infantry... thereafter proclaiming to the world media, “Baghdad is safe.”

He spews “cut and run” platitudes, most notably a raft of rabblerousing drivel about withdrawal from Iraq being “defeat,” “unpatriotic” and “cowardly.”

McCain moves the benchmarks to suit his whim:

-September 24, 2002: “I believe that the success will be fairly easy.”

-January 22, 2003: “We will win this conflict. We will win it easily.”

-March 30, 2003: “This conflict is still going to be relatively short.”

-April 23, 2003: “I think the president has led with great clarity… he’s done a great job leading the country.”

-December 8, 2005: “A year from now, we will have a fair amount of progress in Iraq if we stay the course.”

-November 12, 2006: “We’re either going to lose this thing or win this thing within the next several months.”

-January 3, 2008: “A hundred years in Iraq, that would be fine with me.”

He incessantly reminds voters of his horrific time spent as a POW in Vietnam… as if this somehow qualifies him to control America’s nuclear launch codes.

And, in a revealing and psychopathic moment, McCain mimicked a Beach Boys song to propagandize his thirst for invasion of Iran: “Bomb, bomb, bomb... bomb, bomb Iran.”

But alas, my most memorable McCain episode came on August 10, 2004, when, during Bush’s reelection campaign, facing a throng of viewers, the Senator embraced the President in a sycophantic bear hug; this, after Bush had unmercifully Swift-boated McCain right out of the 2000 election.

So, who is John McCain? He is a pathetic little man, a volatile megalomaniac who possesses neither integrity nor self-respect. And based upon the last eight years, he is the quintessential Republican candidate for President.

John McCain is merely one of hundred reasons why I am voting for Barack Obama for resident, and I urge you to do the same.